I wish I could warn his girlfriend; she’s going to get caught in the crossfire. Sure, it’s all going to start off with “Unnie is an evil bitch and she’s completely fucking me over!” and the poor thing is going to believe it. She will try to soothe his tattered ego, but she will fail. Short of showing up at my house and assaulting me, she won’t be able to heal this wound. Then he’ll unleash his wrath on her. It won’t be her fault; she will simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn’t get his way with something, I didn’t move the Earth and stars to fetch it for him, and she (Pick one: made the wrong dinner, asked the wrong question, disrespected him, didn’t realize he needed a blow job, etc). Woe be unto her if she stands up for herself. She’ll end up blaming me for setting him off and herself for not being sensitive enough to his victimization. She’ll hate me for being so cruel and she’ll try harder next time to understand what he’s going through.
I feel for her. I really wish I could warn her. What I won’t do, however, is acquiesce and give in to his commands to protect her – or anyone else in his path today. That is who I used to be. The person who took responsibility for everyone and everything. No more. I am only responsible for my family and myself. I can’t give him this one because we will get hurt. This action, these commands, they are about us and I can only consider us in my response. It sucks, but it is the only way. I can’t teach my children to stand for themselves if I won’t stand for them first.