Angry Ex on the Loose

I wish I could warn his girlfriend; she’s going to get caught in the crossfire. Sure, it’s all going to start off with “Unnie is an evil bitch and she’s completely fucking me over!” and the poor thing is going to believe it. She will try to soothe his tattered ego, but she will fail. Short of showing up at my house and assaulting me, she won’t be able to heal this wound. Then he’ll unleash his wrath on her. It won’t be her fault; she will simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time. He didn’t get his way with something, I didn’t move the Earth and stars to fetch it for him, and she (Pick one: made the wrong dinner, asked the wrong question, disrespected him, didn’t realize he needed a blow job, etc). Woe be unto her if she stands up for herself. She’ll end up blaming me for setting him off and herself for not being sensitive enough to his victimization. She’ll hate me for being so cruel and she’ll try harder next time to understand what he’s going through.

I feel for her. I really wish I could warn her. What I won’t do, however, is acquiesce and give in to his commands to protect her – or anyone else in his path today. That is who I used to be. The person who took responsibility for everyone and everything. No more. I am only responsible for my family and myself. I can’t give him this one because we will get hurt. This action, these commands, they are about us and I can only consider us in my response. It sucks, but it is the only way. I can’t teach my children to stand for themselves if I won’t stand for them first.


4 thoughts on “Angry Ex on the Loose

  1. grieflessons

    Hope this is one of the things that worked for you this July and hope with all you have to deal with that at least you are left alone to do it without his interference.

  2. suburbanunwife Post author

    It’s hard to say if it worked or not. The threats continued for several days, but he did not follow through. He has also tried to pretend to be the victim. After nothing swayed me, he stored it all up and got the more emotionally fragile child alone and channeled all of his rage into a devastating diatribe that cut that child to the core. He mixed in some comically fake sobbing and, again, pretended to be victimized. (Saying no to this man is apparently the equivalent of ripping out his still beating heart and feeding it to him.)

    We knew the rage was coming and we knew this was an avenue he might take. None of us is permitted to stand up to him for anything. There will be vengeance and this time was no different. Child was as prepared as possible and had a therapy appointment scheduled just in case he went that direction. My little one was hurt, but the faked sobbing was a huge distraction. It was comical (if insulting). Seriously, if you’re going to pretend to cry, try to at least fake a crying face.

    Little one is okay, but very angry about the diatribe and general maltreatment that followed.


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