I’m trying; I really am. I’ve faced down so much pain from losing my father and I’m facing down the physical and legal aftermath. The grief nightmares have pretty much subsided. I’m getting better.
What I’m not doing so well at is socializing. I just don’t want to be around people much. I just want to focus on improving our lives and trying to get out of the overtly dysfunctional workplace I struggle to make it through every day. I’m becoming a clock puncher. Clock in, survive my paid hours and my forced, unpaid overtime, clock out. Try to shake it off before I get home to contend with everything a stay at home mom does plus deal with special diets and the toll that surviving their father’s abuse has taken on my kids. I’m exhausted. I just don’t have it in me to try to be social right now.